If you want the village, you have to be a villager.

people who feel like home and my current obsessions

I was having lunch with someone earlier this week and we were talking about making friends as an adult and how to nurture a group of friendships and I keep coming back to this same sentiment. If you want the village, you have to be a villager.

I’ve heard that saying my whole life but now, at 40, it makes total sense to me.

When you’re little, your friends are just there. They’re in your class. On your tennis and swim team. They live down the street. Proximity does all the heavy lifting.

Then one day you’re an adult and somehow you’re expected to have a thriving social life while also running a business or two or three, raising kids, celebrating birthdays, scheduling all the dentist appointments, calling your parents, cleaning your house, being a partner etc. It’s no wonder everyone says they want “more community.”

The thing I’ve realized is that community isn’t something you stumble into. It’s something you build.

It’s inviting people over even when your house isn’t perfect. It’s being the first person to send the text. It’s remembering someone mentioned they had a hard week and checking in. It’s saying yes when you’d honestly rather stay home in sweatpants. It’s making the reservation, planning the dinner, hosting the mahjong night and making sure you are showing up for your people.

It’s not always glamorous, but it matters.

And maybe that’s the trade?? If you want the village, you have to be willing to help build it.

The older I get, the less interested I am in having a million acquaintances and the more interested I am in finding the people I can do absolutely nothing with.

The people who walk into your house and head straight for the fridge. Who grab your baby when your attention is elsewhere and they can see you need a hand. Who don’t care if there are toys all over the floor or dishes in the sink or you have socks laying around the house. The people where the plan changes three times, nobody even bats an eye, and somehow six hours disappear without anyone looking at the clock and you stumble out of someone’s house and it’s NIGHT TIME.

I think that’s what we’re all actually looking for.

Not more friends. Just a handful of people who feel like home.

---

Ok let’s take a hard left…

Recipes on Repeat

• Bean and Cheese Burritos - truly the most insanely perfect way to feed a crowd. It’s cheap. It’s efficient. I am obsessed with this life hack.

• Skirt Steak is my current love language. I just think the fact that you can give it a hard seasoning, skip a marinade, and grill it in 6 minutes is such a summer staple.

• This Tomato and Stone Fruit Salad has legit been on the menu daily. I can’t stop.

• Shawarma is our everything!

• My new Herby Vinaigrette is life altering! Make it immediately and drizzle on chicken, salmon or steak and please report back.

Where We Ate

• All Time (again) I am a creature of habit and let me tell you - the salmon bowl on their lunch menu is incredible.

• Bar Betsy - this is Betsy’s little sister restaurant a few doors down and their lunch sandwiches are top notch. As is their coffee set up. I love it here. I wish this was my neighborhood spot and I could walk there. One of my best friends is lucky enough to have this in their backyard and I fantasize about moving in with her on a daily basis. WHAT A DREAM.

• WGC at Neighborly. I know I’ve said it 100 million times but my Caesar Wrap is truly healing. I love it so much.

What I’m Watching

• We’re obsessed with The Agency. Like cannot stop watching it. Season 2 just came out and I love love love it.

Influenced I don’t really believe the over-consumption when there is a big sale. I kinda sorta hate it BUT I did stock up on a few things recently during the Nordstrom sale because these are all part of my daily routine and I know I will use them. Plus these are all FAQ’s in my DMs so here ya go.

• This is my everyday foundation and I live for it!

• The best Cleansing Balm of all times. Use it every time I wear makeup and its so gentle on your skin!

• The eye masks that my favorite makeup artist and dear friend uses on me! The best of the best!

• Also I dont need another set because I just got new ones but if you need new makeup brushes, these are the best!

Also I regret to inform you that the hype behind the Lola blankets is so real and they are in fact the best blankets I’ve ever had!

Things I Sent to the Group Chat

• Did I send all my friends this fun Chicken Salad Tartine pop-up event I am doing on Sunday at my Brentwood location. Sure thing. Be there at 12:30 for about an hour. Come hang.

• This NYTimes article about how AI is ruining small digital publishers is wild!

• Another interesting read about brands. Basically the article is arguing that talent partnerships are moving away from the traditional rate card and deliverables and toward co-owned formats and IP which I find FASCINATING as we don’t do rate cards at WGC and everything is super custom so this is speaking my language.

What an Interesting Thing to Say Out Loud

• Someone responded to an IG Story I posted this week asking me why I would take my kids to sushi as they insisted 100% of sushi will give you parasites. They then proceeded to share with me a billion and a half videos that spread misinformation and it made me really think about how fast misinformation can spread. More on that soon. But wow I was shooketh at how many videos are out there that are absolutely positively false.

Ask Me Anything - you know the drill! Shout it out in the comments and I’ll either DM you back or add it to a future substack.

Happy weekend friends!! xx